BALL ISN’T REALLY LIFE THO
Growing up surrounded by the game of basketball is one thing. But, when you’re a naturally gifted athlete, it takes you down a different path. A path that consumes and affects all aspects of life. A path that offers some of life’s purest states of euphoria as well as valleys covered in feelings of worthlessness and belittlement.
This is an excessively summarized version of this TearDrop’s featured guest: Carly. I chose to reach out to Carly because I wanted to address athletes with the advice I wish somebody would’ve slapped me with at a younger age.
As athletes start investing in a sport from a young age, it becomes a cultural norm to place their entire identity into the uncertain hands of the game. A bad performance, a missed shot, or cut playing time leads to feeling like less of a person.
But the highs mosey through brain waves much longer and outweigh those painful lows. Despite the ebb and flow basketball dispensed, Carly never lost love for the game, fueling her central goal in life: hoop like a boss at the collegiate level.
Fast Forward Jus A Fewwww Years Later…
Carly’s floating into the back half of her second year at a college she transferred to. Past regrets are starting to fill her subconscious, with anxiety tagging along. Dark energy’s building walls around her mind, locking itself inside. Personal life’s becoming a facade. School’s taking a back seat. The final ingredient to this shit storm? An injury restricted Carly from playing basketball for the semester.
In Carly’s eyes, life had lost its purpose. An uncomfortably tranquilizing state of numbness washed over her soul. As her life became enchanted with a derisive haze, Carly slowly lost hold of all the beautiful things that make her who she is. Food became void of flavor, sleep of restoration, and relationships of love. Suicidal thoughts and ideas swirled around her mind uncontrollably. So often that Carly started trusting the lies conniving thoughts feed: there’s no point in you being here anymore.
“Being around people is exhausting when you’re constantly being someone you’re not.” - Carly.
With all of her energy drained, Carly lay curled up on her bedroom floor at the end of a routine day. It seemed as if her mind would run wild with dark thoughts for the rest of the night. Teardrops escaped in uniform fashion from already sore ducts when an unexpected distraction materialized on her phone—a text message from her sister.
Although there’s never been any strife between the two, Carly and her sister don’t usually swap texts. In fact, the occurrence of this happening was so rare that on this night, Carly’s attention promptly went from a dark realm to invigorating curiosity.
“hey, just checking in to make sure you’re okay. love u”
Because of its rarity, Carly had to ask the reasoning behind the message; and her sister revealed a chilling truth. She had had a dream so vivid there was no mistaking any detail. The entire family was gathered together, dressed in black as they mourned, circled over a casket. And the body that rested inside was Carly’s.
Call it a coincidence if you’d like, but I personally don’t believe in such randomness. No matter the god you worship, I’d argue this story is a testament that a power beyond human comprehension was at work in Carly’s life.
A wave of realization engulfed Carly at that moment and shifted her life’s path instantaneously. No longer would she let depression guide her thoughts. Nor would she be paralyzed by anxiety’s twisted conceptions of the future. Instead, Carly knew she needed to come face to face with her own mind. Because she knew she never wanted to put her family through the pain death brings.
I feel so blessed to have been entrusted with this story from Carly’s life. Not only because I could relate to it on an emotional level but also because there are several veiled precepts we can all learn from.
1 || Let’s make sure we’re checking in on the people we love. Technology has made it absurdly painless to connect with everyone in our circle. So if someone crosses your mind, send a quick message; you never know how kind words can shift someone’s mindset for the better.
2 || Your entire human identity is not found in one single aspect of life. Take the time to get to know yourself and all the various things that make you unique. On your worst and best days, you will always deserve kindness, love, and happiness.
3 || Take the time to forgive yourself for anything restricting happiness. The past is the past. We can’t change it (until my conspiracy proves true and the government reveals it has access to time travel). Channeling our attention to unchangeable events only hinders the good vibes available in the present.
I’m happy to report that Carly’s mindset is now much healthier. She continues to forgive herself and is ultimately thankful she experienced those dark times because she discovered her personal strength.
Carly and I’s paths crossed through AAU basketball. Carly showed me some of her emotional scars during our short conversation, and I admire the strength, poise, and gentle nature her soul possesses.
I’m eternally grateful to you, Carly, for being one of the first to trust me as I created DPRSD. Thank you.
By reading and sharing this article, you're actively supporting the DPRSD brand, and I can't thank you enough for that. If you feel called to do so, spread some DPRSD vibes by hitting the share button. And if you're holding a life experience in your head you believe can positively influence others, please reach out to me. I'm always searching for more people to expand and solidify the DPRSD community.
xo,
Jerksy
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The TearDrop is an integral part of the DPRSD brand; these individuals help create our genuine community of love and empathy. For each story, Jerksy has an open conversation with the featured guest, elects a creative direction, then writes and edits everything before your beautiful eyes see it. The process is fueled by an indescribable passion to construct something powerful enough to accurately describe the complexity of our mental health. So if you want to support DPRSD and ensure there are plenty of TearDrops to come, we graciously accept monetary contributions (and yes, $1 is donated).
